


'Til Then I Walk Alone

by Lynds



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: 20k of plot crammed into 5k of words, Amanda is a Fucking Witchakookoo, Attack of the Plot Bunnies, BAMF Amanda Brotzman, Bonfires, Dirk Gently Needs a Hug, Dirk Gently's Holistic Gift Exchange, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Minor Amanda Brotzman/Martin, Minor Todd Brotzman/Dirk Gently, Pararibulitis (Dirk Gently), Poor Dirk, Priest is a Project, Project Blackwing (Dirk Gently), Team as Family, Todd Brotzman is a Good Boyfriend, there's a lot to unpack here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 07:22:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17239940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynds/pseuds/Lynds
Summary: Amanda doesn't really think too hard about the fact that she can use the wand without learning any spells for it. She just sends her will through it, lets the universe do what it wants through her. So it really shouldn't be that much of a surprise when the universe decides she'd make a really good tool for bringing all the others together.





	'Til Then I Walk Alone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bloodamber](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodamber/gifts).



> Written for the DGHDA gift exchange, for Blood Amber ^_^ I hope you like it! I got attacked by A Lot of plot bunnies when I started this, so I hope it's at least somewhat coherent... Mostly I hope you like the idea of Bart being adopted by the Rowdies, I think she'd fit in really well!
> 
> Thank you so much to [flightinflame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flightinflame/pseuds/flightinflame) for beta-ing! I'm so sorry I forgot to credit you earlier, I'm a dumbass!

Amanda kicked her bare feet up onto the dash and tapped her fingers on her knees. The speakers roared, playing loudly enough that it forced everything else from her ears, just the pure sensation of music taking over her heartbeat. Cross and Vogel were jabbing each other in the ribs in some sort of game where the rules changed every time one of them looked like they were too close to winning, and Gripps was lying flat on the floor, hands clasped over his chest, fast asleep. 

She glanced over to Martin and nicked his cigarette, holding his eye as she pulled on the smoke and let it waterfall out between her lips. He kept his face turned towards the road, but his eyes to the side, watching her until she slipped the butt back between his lips.

The windows were down. The air was thin, hot and dry as they drove over the mountains to wherever the universe wanted to take them.

Amanda was the first to spot her, feet dropping to the footwell. “Hey, pull over.”

Martin swerved and the tyres screamed as he pulled off the road onto the dusty verge. He squinted at the figure. “That one’s bad news, Drummer.”

“We’re all bad news,” she said, and jumped out, still barefoot. “Hey, don’t I know you?”

The girl walked towards her. The landscape stretched away from them on both sides, miles of scrubland plateau, dry and rocky, and a young woman covered in blood and an orange jumpsuit.

“Doubt it. Most people that know me’re dead.”

Amanda narrowed her eyes at her. “I’m sure I do… weren’t you involved in that Wendimoor bullshit?”

Her slumped shoulders seemed to slump further and she shrugged sulkily, staring off into the distance.

“You were, weren’t you? You were with that pink haired guy, that--”

“Panto,” she said softly. “He’s dead too. I killed them all.”

Amanda frowned. “No he’s not.”

“What do you know?” She glared at her, yellow teeth bared and eyes shockingly present under her wild mop of bloody hair.

“The boy brought them all back,” Amanda said. “Afterwards, didn’t you meet him? The Cardenas boy? Project Moloch?”

She glared at her, but her eyes flickered from side to side, just a little, like she wanted to believe her. 

“Oh, hey, I can show you,” she said, pulling the wand out of the waistband of her jeans. The woman narrowed her eyes at it. “C’mon, I’ll show you what happened, I’m pretty sure there’s a spell to show someone the past… lemme see…” She scrunched her face up and pointed the wand at the side of the van, imaging it lighting up like a movie screen. Her arm moved. She didn’t think too hard about it. That was just how the magic worked. The universe moved her arm for her.

The blue glow hit the side of the van, the scene spreading out like honey dripping on bread. The boy standing there in his nightgown and his crown, the witch being hurled into the train, and everyone coming back. Silas and Panto hand in hand, smiling at each other, kissing as their brother and sister looked on proudly.

“See?”

She dragged her eyes away from the scene. “Don’t mean nothin,” she grunted, her voice like gravel. “You could just be making it up.”

“Yeah, guess so,” Amanda shrugged. “Anyway. You wanna come with us?”

“Why?”

“Cuz there’s nothing else out here. Where else have you got to be?”

 

“I don’t know,” she said, frowning. “The universe tells me where to go.”

“You Blackwing too?” Martin grunted, one long leg cocked up on the open door of the van, the other kicked out on the dusty ground. 

“Blackwing don’t exist anymore,” she said with a casual shrug. “I killed ‘em.”

“What, all two hundred and thirty four of them?” said Cross, head on one side. “Even Priest?”

She shook her head. “Can’t kill Priest, he’s like us.”

Martin dropped his chin, looked over his glasses at her. His eyebrows were high in his hair. “He’s what now?”

“Project Orthrus,” she said, looking out over the plain.

“What, so he’s like… the holistic soldier?” Amanda snorted. “The holistic killer, what?”

She looked up at Amanda slowly. “I’m the killer. Holistic assassin, whatever.”

Amanda pursed her lips and nodded. “Cool. I’m Amanda.”

She blinked at her. “Bart.”

“I’m Vogel!” Vogel yelled, bouncing off the roof of the van and over to Bart. “Cross and Gripps and Martin and me, we’re the Rowdy Three, we trash stuff and make noise!”

Bart cocked her head on one side and gave a crooked smile. “Sounds good.”

“You wanna go set stuff on fire and dance around a bit? Boss says we can if it ain’t raining.”

“I’m Boss,” Amanda grinned. 

“Sure, why not?” Bart shrugged. “Don’t think I’ve ever made a fire.”

Martin scooped Amanda up over his shoulder and carried her back to the van while Vogel dragged Bart into the back with him and the others. Gripps set up a beat, stamping on the floor of the van with his heavy boot, and the others joined in, some in the same rhythm, some whooping out of time, and Amanda laughed and threw her head back, drumming on the roof so that the loose interior started to vibrate, dust drifting down slowly on their heads.

They pulled over as the sun started to set, jumping up onto the dented roof, pulling each other up and turning to face the dying rays of light. A hot, dry wind drifted through Amanda’s hair and she tipped her head back, spreading her arms and letting the sunbeams cast their shadows through her fingers. 

Vogel, never able to stay still for long, leaped off in a backflip. He cheered, his head thrown back to howl at the crescent moon that rose above the mountains, and climbed back up to do it all over again. Bart sat, dangling her feet off the side of the van, and watched him in quiet interest. 

“We got some of that kerosine?” Cross yelled up to Martin. 

“Uh-huh,” he said, gesturing to the back, then draping one long arm over her shoulder. She slipped her fingers between his and smiled out at the world.

Gripps and Vogel gathered dry wood and piled them haphazardly into the bare ground. Cross tipped the fuel over it.

“Make a line, make a line!” Vogel yelled, and Cross dripped a snaking line from the pile back to the van. Martin looked down at the damp ground, lit a match and threw it.

The vapours caught with a whomp sound, and the line of flame trickled over to the pile of dry wood as Vogel jumped back and forth over it, shrieking. When the pile went up, the blast of heat knocked him back, and she grinned as Martin threw his head back in a silent laugh.

“Don’t you guys get hurt either?” Bart asked.

“Yeah, we do,” Martin grunted. “We just know our limits.”

“I don’t get hurt,” she said mildly. 

“Useful,” Cross said. He bent down over the dying flame near the van and poked at the sandy soil beneath it until it faded away, leaving the bonfire the only light this side of the horizon.

Bart hopped down and walked towards the fire, stepping onto the crackling logs. Wherever her feet touched, the flame faded away, returning to the same spot when she moved on. Vogel laughed and clapped. “Hey, how d’you do that? Teach me!”

“Can’t,” she said. “The universe just don’t want me to get hurt.”

“Cool!” he said. “Hey, can you hug a cactus?”

“What’s a cactus?”

“Spiky plants,” he said, looking around for one.

“There aren’t any cactuses here, Vogel, we’re too far north.”

He frowned. “We should find a bear for her to hug then, they’re north, right?”

Amanda laughed, and Bart gave her crooked smile, softening a little. “If I find a bear, I’ll see if it wants a hug.”

Gripps found a branch with dry leaves and set them alight, waving the branch around to release drifting sparks into the blackness of the night. Cross pulled a pack of squashed marshmallows out of his jacket pocket and handed them to Vogel to poke onto the branch afterwards, and Bart stared, her head cocked on one side.

“You had these before?” Vogel asked, waving one at her.

“Nuh-uh,” she shook her head. “Whaddya do with it?”

“Oh, man, they’re the best thing, the best thing. You burn ‘em, then you eat ‘em, like my two favourite things! Sugar and fire!”

Gripps showed Bart how to push a marshmallow onto a stick, a fond smile on his round face already, and Cross gave her his very serious lecture on how long they should be held in the flame. Vogel never listened to him and just burned them black, then ate them too hot. Amanda crossed her arms and leant into Martin’s side as Bart nodded and counted carefully.

Martin bent to kiss her on the head, rubbing his lips over the buzz of her undercut, and she wrapped her arm around his waist, and felt the warmth sink into her bones, the satisfaction she felt when her boys were together, and safe, and happy. Like something had clicked into place in the universe.

***

The sun burned overhead, too hot and too early to be awake. She groaned and rubbed her eyes and considered going back to sleep, but sunburn was definitely not punk. She shoved Martin in the ribs.

“Mmf?”

“C’mon, let me up.”

He pushed himself up, his white hair scrunched up on one side where it had been pressed onto her sternum half the night. She smirked and ruffled it, and he pulled her into a noogie, then a kiss. And then someone shot the van over their heads.

Amanda yelped and covered her head, rolling over as bullets sent up puffs of dirt around them. She could hear Martin yelling for the others, his arms covering her, muscles tensing in response to each volley of shots. 

Somehow they all got behind a boulder. “It’s them… it’s Blackwing,” Vogel yelled over the gunfire, his eyes wide, terrified, and Amanda wanted to scream. 

“I thought Bart said she got them all!”

“There must’a been some other soldiers left over, they’re gonna take us back again.”

“Whatcha doing there?” Bart asked at a normal volume.

“Bart!” Amanda yelled. “Get down, they’ll see you, you can’t just stand out in the open like that! Come here!”

Bart frowned around at the soldiers as the hail of bullets continued. “Bullets don’t hit me,” she said, scratching her belly. “Well, there was that one time… but I’ve tested it since. Think it was only ‘cause I was try’na kill another project.” She sniffed and rubbed her nose. “OK, I’ll be back in a sec. Universe’s telling me this lot gotta die.”

“Bart!” Amanda leaped up, but Bart was walking towards the first group of soldiers. As she watched, still flinching from the bullets and shards of stone flying all over the place, Bart ripped a gun from the nearest soldier and fired around, ever shot finding a home in a skull or a chest, blood spraying out and splashing across her face, adding to the rust colour already spread across her jumpsuit. “Holy shit.”

The boys grinned at each other. Martin howled, and they raced out at the nearest group of soldiers, sticks and rocks in hand, vicious snarls and violence, and Amanda left staring in horror, because there was Priest.

He stood at the apex, at the point of the V, with Bart approaching on one side and the Rowdies on the other, and he was smiling. He was always smiling, but he looked prepared. He looked like a man who was going to take everyone important away from her again.

Bart couldn’t kill Priest. She couldn’t kill another project - she’d even been hurt trying. And Priest had captured the boys once before, leaving her and Vogel to run, together and terrified. Well, fuck that. She set her jaw, and pulled the wand out of her pocket, marching directly towards him.

“What’re you gonna do with that kiddie toy Miss Brotzman?” Priest called, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Martin’s head whip around from the soldier he had on the floor, panic in his eyes.

“I have no idea,” she yelled, and let the universe do what it wanted through her.

There was a blinding blue, a lightning strike, and pain screaming through Amanda’s arms where she held onto the wand. She gritted her teeth through what had to be an attack, blue sparks curling over her skin. “I’m a fucking witchakookoo,” she hissed to herself between her teeth, tears squeezed out of her eyes. “Pararibulitis can get fucked!” 

She curled her fingers around the wand, embraced the pain, embraced the vision, made the attack _real_ , and the lightning leaped to her will, shooting outwards as she screamed in pain, heading straight for Priest…

...who disappeared.

The thunder cracks died down, her attack faded, and she stood in a blast radius of bubbling sand. The Rowdies and Bart stood and stared around at the absolute lack of soldiers.

“Did you vapourise them?” Bart called, vague interest in her voice.

“I don’t know,” Amanda said, and cleared her throat as it croaked. “I don’t know what happened.”

“Did you get a vision, Boss?” Vogel asked, trotting down to her.

She shook her head. “I dunno… maybe I only get the visions if I’m not making the attacks real. Maybe I can only use them one way.” She lowered her hands and tucked the wand back inside her jacket, shaking her hands out. “Have all of them disappeared?”

Martin nodded, brushing a lock of hair back out of her face and lighting a cigarette. “Even the ones we had on the floor.”

Amanda held up her arms. She could never help it, after an attack. She knew the delusions weren’t real but she could never resist looking for scars or burns or gaping wounds, even though they were never there. Surely this time would be different, if she’d made the attack real like she did in Wendimoor? But no, her bare arms were as pale and freckled as ever, and she ran her fingers along her skin. The ground beneath her feet was crackled and scarred, but she was in the clear, and the hairs along the back of her neck rose. She shook it off, forced the creeps away.

“Let’s get outta here,” Gripps said. “Ain’t right now they’ve been here.”

Martin nodded and Gripps ducked his head to throw Vogel over his shoulder in a fireman’s lift, where he whooped and slapped Gripps’ ass. “C’mon then, kids. Back on the road.”

***

The next few days were quieter as they kept their senses open, waiting for another sign of Blackwing. They pretended they weren’t, pretended they were wild and free, but the hackles on the backs of their necks rose more quickly, the stops were quieter. Only Bart seemed unaffected, staring up at the great sky above, smiling at Vogel, chatting to Gripps, laughing loud and raucous. Though Amanda noticed even she would stop herself sometimes, like she was drawing herself back, reminding herself she’d been hurt before and should hold back this time.

The van had a collection of new bullet holes, and Amanda poked her finger through one as they drove late one night, feeling the cold wind whistling over her skin. Martin slowed at a junction, and she sat up, her eyes wide. “Go that way.”

He turned without question, down to the left rather than straight ahead. Amanda sat back and frowned. She didn’t even know where she was, why did she care? It had just felt right. Essential, even.

They came to a small town. Amanda stared blankly ahead, looking hard into her own head for that feeling once more, but it never came. She wasn’t even sure she’d felt it any more. How could she describe it? It had been fleeting and unremarkable, but absolutely insistent.

Cross sat up and sniffed, hard, as they passed a run-down set of concrete buildings. “Smell that?”

Martin puffed on his cigarette, a grin curling up one side of his face. “Yep.” He turned the wheel hard and Amanda’s hand shot out to grip the handle of the van door. The tyres squealed and her heartrate increased as they raced down street after street, past flickering neon lights and grimy shops, burnt out streetlamps and overflowing garbage cans.

Gripps, Cross and Vogel were leaning forward like hounds on a leash, growling and cheering and whooping and yelling in excitement, and Amanda peered ahead, wondering what they were hunting down, wondering where her boys were taking her, and trusting them implicitly.

Martin threw them into a spin and they stopped half on the kerb, the boys leaping from the van and tearing down an alleyway. She scrambled after them, following the smashing and screaming, the squealing of a metal garbage can lid scraped along the brick wall, and then the yelps of someone up ahead, someone they’d caught and were surrounding.

There was blue light, and her glee was muted, because blue light meant someone like _them_ , someone terrified and panicking and the boys were taking it away from them, and rather than the vicious glee of punishing some Blackwing asshole they’d heard of, she just felt a grim satisfaction as she caught up.

And then horror, because there was _Todd_ squirming and screaming and kicking in Cross’ arms, swearing at them. “Leave him alone, you bastards, I’ll fucking kill you, leave him alone!”

“Todd! What are you doing? Let them help him!” she yelled, catching up at last.

He was distraught, tears flooding down his face as he kicked and wriggled, Cross lifting his feet well clear of the floor. “Make them stop! Make them stop, I swear to God!”

She frowned at him. “What the hell? No!”

His face crumpled. “Please, Manda, I know they hate me - and I know I deserve it! But please, they can have me, please leave Dirk alone!”

“What are you talking about, asshole?” she snapped, hiding her confusion behind sharp words like a true Brotzman. “They helping him!”

Just then, they finished feeding, and Cross dropped Todd, who scrambled over to Dirk, grabbing his shoulders. “Are you OK? Are you OK?”

“Yeah,” he groaned.

Todd turned back to them and planted himself in front of Dirk, snarling up at Martin. “What the hell is wrong with you? Why can’t you just leave him alone?”

Martin lit another cigarette and blew the smoke into his face. “The hell you talking about? He’s scared, we eat the fear.”

“They’re helping him,” Amanda snapped, squaring up to her shithead brother. “You could be a bit more grateful, you know? Or are you just jealous because they won’t help you when you have an attack?”

“Helping?” he yelped, his voice doing that pitchy thing she always mocked him about. “How is chasing him and scaring him half to death _helping_ him? What, they want to give him a good cardio workout?”

Martin frowned. “We don’t scare him. Brit’s scared so we find him, that’s what we do. We take the fear away. Ain’t that right?” He turned to Dirk, who was standing and brushing himself off.

Dirk looked up, eyes wide like a rabbit caught in the headlights. “Umm, well, I’d actually… I mean, I _was_ scared before, but…”

“You make it, like, ten times worse when you chase him down like that, what the hell is wrong with you?” Todd snapped, and Amanda rolled her eyes, because Todd might be a cowardly little shit when it came to himself but when he thought he was protecting someone, he was always ready to throw down with the biggest guy in the room. He barely came up to Martin’s collarbone.

“Dirk,” she said. “Come on, doesn’t it help? What they do?”

“Umm… well… I wouldn’t say _helped_ , it’s more - _aaah!”_ He flinched backwards as Gripps moved towards him, and Martin frowned.

“You’re gettin’ scared again, Brit. You need to calm down.”

Dirk actually stamped his foot. “Well, of course I’m getting scared! Todd and I were just investigating here following some very interesting leads, and I got a bit of a fright because a cat jumped out at me from an alleyway and I thought it was a shark, and then you four come howling out of _nowhere_ and chase after me like I’m some… some… some _snack_ for your midnight feast, you smash up all the windows and you throw me on the ground like you’re about to beat the crap out of me, you pick Todd up like you’re going to steal him, of _course_ I’m scared! I thought you didn’t mind me anymore! I thought we’d worked together in Wendimoor and now you didn’t hate me and maybe, just _maybe_ you’d leave me the hell alone!”

Dirk sucked in air, panting and almost sobbing as silence fell. Todd turned to the rest of them with a look of utter loathing on his face, his fists clenching by his side, and Amanda realised that she’d never been on the wrong side of that face, she’d only ever seen his protectiveness from behind.

Martin spat to the side. “Ain’t never hated you, Dirk.”

Dirk laughed and scrubbed his hand over his face. “You have a funny way of showing it.”

He sighed. “Look, kid… you’ve seen how we are… how we treat each other, right?” He gestured at Cross, Gripps and Vogel. Gripps obligingly tackled Cross to the ground with a thump, and Vogel leaped onto his back. “It’s just how we are.”

Dirk looked at the pile of Rowdies on the floor. “Oh…” His lip trembled, and he turned his face away. “You really… I thought it was because of before… back there…”

Martin raised his eyebrow. “Cause Riggins made you join in on our tests?”

Dirk nodded, his shoulders hunching. 

Martin shrugged. “Made us join in on each other’s tests too, you know? Made us fight each other. We still know who’s the bad guy.”

“Oh…”

Todd’s face softened and he moved closer, squeezing Dirk’s shoulder, his forehead crinkling up. Something made Amanda frown, because he used to look at her like that, and she’d thought… she’d kinda thought that look was a lie as well, because how could he care about her the way she thought he did, when he’d lied so bad? But it was obvious he cared about Dirk, maybe even loved him. It always had been obvious. She bit her lip and nudged Martin. He looped one long arm around her shoulder, watching Todd and Dirk exchange soft conversation.

Dirk looked up, eyes slightly red-rimmed. “I’m sorry I misunderstood. I thought you wanted to scare me.”

“Don’t get me wrong, kid, I wasn’t trying to not scare you. We’re scary dudes. It’s how we like it.”

Dirk smiled, then frowned and cocked his head on one side. “Is that… Bart?”

“Hey, Dirk,” she said, waving.

“You’re still covered in blood…”

“Oh, yeah, that’s not the same blood,” she said, looking down at her jumpsuit. 

“That’s… not reassuring.”

“What are you guys doing in Logan?” Todd asked, placing himself between Dirk and Bart.

“We could ask you the same thing,” Amanda said. “We’re the ones who travel around, last I heard you guys were settled in Seattle, with the agency and everything.”

He nodded. “Yeah, we were given a case out here.”

“Bit of a long way to go,” she frowned.

He shrugged. “Dirk’s cases come from all over, they’re weird. Like, almost without exception they’re weird.” He smiled fondly over at Dirk, and Amanda ignored the strange feeling in her gut, a lot like jealousy. But that was stupid. She didn’t want to be coddled by him anymore. She’d hated it, and though she didn’t hate him, she hated what he’d done to her.

She cleared her throat. “Well, we were just passing through. Picked Bart up on the road out in the mountains, so she’s gonna travel with us for a bit, see how things go.” She crossed her arms. “We should probably be going.”

There was that pull again, as she turned, that feeling that she should _definitely_ not be going this way, she should be going back. She ignored it. Her brother didn’t need her. He’d found some other sucker to take his guilt out on and Amanda had her life and her freedom now. She had the boys, and she didn’t need anyone else. She forced her reaction down, even as she heard his dumb, sad voice saying goodbye. She didn’t need to be near him.

“Oh, my _God_ , what do I have to do here?”

“What the fuck is that?” Bart snarled, and the rest of them leaped back away from the blonde guy who’d appeared, pouting, in midair. 

“You,” Martin snarled, and Cross and Gripps growled beside him, Gripps’ lip curling up to show his teeth. 

Floaty-man held his hands up, and Amanda blinked to see his eyes, the pupils all distorted and different sizes. She snapped her head to Todd, wondering if he was remembering Wendimoor and the backstage of the universe as well. “Hey, guys, chill,” said Floaty-man.

“He’s Blackwing,” Cross growled.

Bart frowned. “I can kill him if ya like, I mean, I don’t really feel like it, but…” she shrugged.

“Hey, no, that would suck,” he whined. “I’m not Blackwing any more, I’m just me. Just Friedkin. Anyway, I don’t think you can kill me, like… it’s kinda weird here, but I’m pretty sure I’m, like, immortal or something?”

“Oh, fucking hell, another one?” Amanda snapped, pulling her wand out. “I got rid of the last one--”

“Nononono, wait! Oh my _God_ you guys are so damn _difficult!_ I thought it would be easier, you know, being omniscient and stuff - I mean, I even know words like omniscient now? Like, I can use them in context and everything. Oh! Look, I know what context means! But you tools are just… _ugh!”_

“Who’re you calling a tool?” Todd frowned.

“You guys,” he said, waving his hands. “I mean, not you, you’re just… I don’t know what you are, like, you just hang out with Icarus.”

“Don’t you fucking call him that,” Todd snarled.

“Ugh, Dirk Gently, whatever. But the rest of you… you’re all the tools to fix the broken universe, you know? That’s why you have your powers.”

Amanda frowned and lowered her wand. “What are you then?”

“I’m the co-ordinator - ooh, see? I know another word, man, it’s like I’m a dictionary or something, it’s awesome. If Assistent could see me now! And I gotta say, it is a mess up there. I mean, they gave the power to bring all of you together to Mr Priest? Hoo, boy, bad choice there. Whoever was my predecessor did a shitty job.” He grinned and pointed at his own face. “Predecessor! Look at me go! Anyway, I gave that job to you,” he said, frowning at Amanda, “and you’re _still_ not doing it right! I thought you’d be way better than Priest, that dude was scary but at least he got everyone in the right building. For a little while, you know? But then he kept you all separate and thought it would be fun to like… let Riggins poke you with sticks, and all, so…”

“I seem to remember you doing a certain amount of poking us with sticks,” Dirk said through gritted teeth.

Friedkin waved his hands. “That was before I _knew_ , man.”

“Wait, wait,” Todd said. “What do you mean you gave that job to Amanda?”

“She’s got to bring all the tools together. It’s her power, now, she’s, like, the holistic finder or whatever.”

“Words’ve abandoned you now, huh?” Bart said dryly.

“And now she’s found another one she’s just trying to ignore her powers and leave again, and I’m just fed up of you all being so _sucky_ at this holistic shit! Is it really so hard to just listen when the universe asks you to do something?”

“Yes, it is, actually,” said Dirk, his voice almost trembling with anger. “When the universe tells us to walk out of a diner when we might actually be happy for the first time in our lives and get captured by you arseholes for two months, yes, it’s pretty hard to trust that the universe has our best interests at heart.”

“That’s because it doesn’t,” he said, rolling his weird drugged-out eyes. “The universe doesn’t care about _you_ , it cares about the universe. It needs fixing, and you all need to be together to do that. Blackwing was the best place for that. It isn’t any more, but you still have to get together.”

“So, what, that’s it?” Amanda said as the alley fell silent. “We’re just… fated to go find the others now, and that’s it? No more freedom? We’re stuck with each other, whether we want to be or not?”

Todd looked away, and Amanda tried to tell herself that she didn’t feel guilty.

Bart shrugged. “I mean, I pretty much do that anyway,” she said. “I been following what the universe wants since I got out of Blackwing the first time.” She glanced up at Amanda. “Would be… kinda nice to do that with other people. Maybe who don’t mind if I’m covered in blood and that. Ken was the first one who ever…. and he…” Her voice hitched, and she looked away. “I dunno, you guys might, like, understand for a little longer, you know?”

Amanda smiled, her chest aching a little as she wondered how lonely Bart had been. How lonely they’d all been. 

Friedkin clapped his hands. “Awesome, that settles it. I’m off backstage, it’s weird being stuck in just one time. See you guys, stay cool.” And he was gone.

They walked in a trickle out of the alleyway, the sun rising over the mountains casting the clouds in an orange and pink light. Martin waved the boys and Bart into the van, but Todd ran up to Amanda. “Hey… uh, look, I know you don’t want to be stuck with me anymore.” He rubbed the back of his head. “I guess… I mean, I’m not one of the tools or anything, I don’t have any…” he swallowed and looked away towards the sunrise. “I guess I could just… go back to Seattle. Make it easier for everyone.”

She looked at him, his shoulder slumped, offering to give up his only friend, possibly someone he loved, just to make her comfortable, and punched him in the arm. “Shut up, dickhead, and get in the van.”

“Hey!”

She sighed and rolled her eyes, and gritted her teeth ready for an actual heartfelt conversation. “Ugh, you know what? I wasn’t talking about you, back there. I just… I don’t want to be told what to do, you know? Not even if it’s the universe doing the telling. I only just got my freedom, and it’s been amazing, driving around with the boys, doing whatever we want, and I don’t want to give that up.”

“You can still do that, I think,” he said earnestly. “Like, we can just drive around and Dirk can get called to solve crimes and the boys can get called to trash whatever needs trashing, and Bart can get called to be a murder gremlin or whatever… and you can get called to the next Blackwing subject who needs help. And if you’re all made to help fix the universe and everything that’s wrong with it, maybe it’d be better to do that all together.” He glanced back at the van, and Dirk, sitting in the back with his shoulders tense. “But I think we’ll drive in our own car behind you, OK?”

She grinned, then pulled him into a hug. “You’re an asshole.”

“You’re a dumbass.” He was grinning as she pulled back, like the weight of the world had been taken off his shoulders. “I love you, sis.”

“Eww, emotions,” she said, screwing up her nose. “Gross. We’re Brotzmans, we don’t do that.”

“You ready to go, Drummer?” asked Martin, coming up to put his long arm on her shoulder.

“Todd,” said Dirk, grabbing Todd’s arm. “Please tell me I don’t have to ride in the van? Gripps wants to paint my nails green, and he won’t listen when I tell him it’ll clash horribly with my jacket. If he had blue it would be a completely different matter, but green is just wrong.” He pulled a Panic Pete doll out of his pocket. “Also Mona might want to be a tiger again and she’ll need more space, it really makes the most sense to have our own car.”

“Yo, are we gonna get some food before we go hunting? I want Chinese. Have you had Chinese?” Bart said, looking at Cross. He shook his head. “It’s awesome.”

Gripps and Vogel jumped down as well. Vogel jumped onto Gripps’ back, hugging him tight. “What are we looking at?”

“Nothing,” said Amanda, smiling up at him. But she turned back to the road, a long stretch of tarmac leading out into the desert and the mountains. The early morning sunlight poured down the distant slopes, creeping across the road out of town. “OK, guys,” she said, taking a deep breath of the new day. “Let’s go fix the broken universe.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [tumblr](https://gold-from-straw.tumblr.com/) and geek out about more fandoms than is actually sensible, or find me on [wordpress](https://lynhemphillauthor.wordpress.com/) if you'd like to hear about my original novels!


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